


the centre cannot hold

by acanaceous



Series: the falcon cannot hear the falconer [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Character Study, Fake Character Death, Gen, i guess, i tagged this as major character death but no one actually dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-30 03:03:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17215799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acanaceous/pseuds/acanaceous
Summary: You are Uchiha Obito. You will never be a dead man, because you are a dead boy already.





	the centre cannot hold

01.  
These are the mathematics of survival: calculate the angle of a blade, find the hypotenuse of a murder. Do it quick, boy. Time is the slip of a boot plus a shout, divided by a creaking like old bones shattering.

Obito has never been a good student, and it doesn't look like he'll start now. Now is after three things: a rescue; a push; a goodbye. He has heard of first battles, finding out who you are and what you value when faced with death. This isn't his first battle, but all the same he's found out who he is when it comes down to the wire.

This is his first death, which is perhaps more special. You only get one of these.

(He's not quite right, but he doesn't know that yet. Don't worry: he'll learn.)

(He's not quite wrong, though. His body will survive this moment. His mind will go on and his new-lone eye will spin in an endless spiral like a dog snapping at its own tail with long sharp teeth. But does he live?)

They're gone, glitter-gold Rin and gleam-of-silver Kakashi, gone home without him. What is he now, this boy without? What he is: lonely. 

Here, Obito learns about loss. He learns about patience, as well, as death takes its merry time. Death probably knows: it's not like he's going anywhere. Death is not often merciful, but it is of course economical. There are many dead, and much to do.

There are calculations in time: a second--a breath--times sixty, and again makes an hour, add twenty-three more for a day. Seven days is a week, four weeks is a month, how long has he been waiting? It could have been minutes or centuries, without any way to track time's endless march. Obito has no eyes with which to watch the stars circle the sky; what is time to he with only stone and stony thought?

Another thing he learns about himself is that, wow, he really does get poetic and macabre while he's awaiting a slow death-by-crushing. Who knew?

02.  
He thinks to himself: it's not that I regret anything, precisely. I couldn't let him die. I don't regret what I did.

It's just that.

It's -

He can't say he regrets saving Kakashi, he can't say he would rather a world where it's him and Rin stumbling out of the cave, and Obito is holding a bloody sword that gleams white and it's Rin and Obito and Minato-sensei at the gates of Konoha, and it's Obito who gets to go home and Kakashi who doesn’t -- Obito doesn't think he would have been able to live in that world. To know that he could have done something and he didn't do it? No, he could not have lived like that. And yet, it's just that --

He's thirteen years old, he's a kid in a war, he's so scared, he's so very young and so very scared of death and darkness and being alone, he wants Mom to hold him close and tell him it's going to be just fine. He wants. Alone, in the dark, he wants and -- in the way of all Uchiha -- he bitterly regrets. 

03.  
What is regret to a peculiar creature like the one who lies in wait? An invitation, perhaps -- a promising sign, more likely. Regret is a brother to resentment, and resentment opens the door to anger and hate and all such things. However, philosophizing isn't for peculiar creatures like this. This one would rather leave that to others, like its dark mirror-leader-self and the dark one's human-ally-pawn. Who needs plans? The creature has instructions, and a new friend besides. 

Also this kid is losing a lot of blood! The thing about philosophizing is that it takes a lot of time that could likely be put to better use by taking this kid out of the one cave and bringing him to the home-cave. That's caves for you, I guess, huh? Not a ton of variety, but the home-cave has a tree and a bunch of friends! It hopes the kid will like the home-cave. The kid is from the tree place, and the home cave has a tree and a positive adult mentoring figure that comes attached!

Also, oh, uh yeah this doesn't look great time is probably of the essence.

04.  
Obito won't know it for a little while yet, but he is saved.

He won't know it until a little while after that but he is also trapped, and enlightened, and burdened, and freed.

It will be a long time -- years, perhaps more -- until he finds out that he is doomed as well.

**Author's Note:**

> surprise zetsu pov what the fuck does that dude even think about all day


End file.
